I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
