His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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