...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
This couple is walking their pig around campus
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
