I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
