problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
