How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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