I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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