I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
