not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
