She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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