he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
