You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
