hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize