in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Welp...herpes.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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