Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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