I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
so much tequila, so little girl.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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