Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
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