Your dad touched me again.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
