remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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