I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
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