so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
