You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
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