where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
