In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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