There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
