at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
So much rum. So many feels.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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