I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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