Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
