Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
