i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
