We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Randomize
