Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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