I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
