He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
