check it out our google latitudes are spooning
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
