sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
from now on my penis is your penis
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
