Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize