Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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