i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
