i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
