Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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