you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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