I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
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