Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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