I wannas sexs uuuuu
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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