do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
