I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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