WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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