when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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