my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
