Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize