Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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