plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
