do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
