thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Dicks are not precious.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
