I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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