If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
