big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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