Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
