Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
