My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
