I hope mine doesn't look like that
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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