Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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