I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
