Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
This is the high leading the old right now
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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