What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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