chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
