hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
