Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
