sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize