Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
there was a trapeze. enough said
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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